Solitude, loneliness, being alone… these are particles of existence that I have been struggling with lately. I often have had difficulty with time alone. It wasn’t so much being by myself as it was the lack of companionship. There were many years as a teen and young man that I did not have this companion in my life. I was very alone in the world. Then I transformed that energy in to something else… solitude. When one secludes themselves away from the world they can transform that process of being alone in to a process of inward reflection and self-realization. In this place… I realized that what I was ready for was companionship and partnership. Each time I have attempted this partnership I have grown immensely, but each time I have also not succeeded. I find myself not only alone, but left with an immense feeling of loneliness. This loneliness, I have thought, was being alone. Now this loneliness is the longing for the companionship that I desire so much. It is more of an absence, than it is a presence.
© 2011 Tommy Johnsen
